THE WEST WING

'POST HOC, ERGO PROPTER HOC'

written by: AARON SORKIN

directed by: THOMAS SCHLAMME

 

TEASER

 

FADE IN: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. STREET - DAY

Music is playing from Mandy's B.M.W. convertible as she drives down the

street.

As she stops for the red light, she sees three people across the street near

the Capitol Building. She honks the car's horn several times. Senator LLOYD

RUSSELL is one of the three men. He looks at the car and shakes his head. As

the traffic light turns green, Mandy drives fast across the street, through

and against the curb, and leaves her car there.

 

MANDY

[yells] Are you crazy?!

 

She jumps out of her convertible without opening the door. She rushes toward

Russell, who is with two men from his staff.

 

MANDY

Are you crazy?!

 

RUSSELL

Mandy.

 

MANDY

Have you lost your mind?

 

RUSSELL

Why don't we go to my office, we can talk about it...

 

MANDY

Why did you make that deal?

 

STAFFER 1

Lady, I don't think you can leave your car right there...

 

MANDY

Shut up! [to Lloyd] Why did you make that deal?

 

RUSSELL

It's just until after the midterms, Mandy.

 

MANDY

Lloyd?

 

STAFFER 2

We keep the bill in committee until after the midterms, and that way...

 

MANDY

And that way, the White House doesn't have to veto it until nobody's looking.

 

RUSSELL

Well...

 

MANDY

We wanted people to be looking!

 

STAFFER 1

[to Lloyd] Senator, we really should be moving along here.

 

MANDY

Lloyd, what? Why? Why did you go to breakfast to make that deal?

 

STAFFER 1

They offered us a good spot at the nominating convention.

 

MANDY

Excuse me?

 

RUSSELL

That's true. I might nominate the President.

 

STAFFER 2

Possibly keynote.

 

RUSSELL

Definitely something in primetime.

 

MANDY

Of course, they offered you something good at the nominating convention. They

don't want you to get nominated at the nominating convention!

 

RUSSELL

Settle down.

 

MANDY

That bill was our coming out party. We were gonna have the stage for a month!

It was our Nesun Dorma!

 

STAFFER 1

What the hell's Nesun Dorma?

 

STAFFER 2

It's an Italian aria by Wagner...

 

MANDY

It's Puccini. Wagner's German, and you're a moron.

 

MAN

[approaches] Excuse me, ma'am. Is everything all right?

 

MANDY

No, everything is not all right! I left a job at a top-tier marketing firm

where I had stock options. I come down here and get this guy elected

President.

But he went to breakfast this morning, and made a deal at 443 until after the

midterm elections. Avoiding the national exposure that was our ONLY HOPE of

making any kind of a challenge! [The man has left already.]

 

STAFFER 1

Senator, we've got a caucus.

 

RUSSELL

Hang on. [Mandy and Russell walk away from other two guys.]

 

MANDY

Lloyd?

 

RUSSELL

Listen to me.

 

MANDY

I was going...

 

RUSSELL

Listen to meOe It wasn't gonna happen. Maybe somewhere down the road. But this

year, it wasn't gonna happen.

 

MANDY

I had two years to make it happen. I was gonna take them on! They beat me

before I got my boxes unpacked.

 

RUSSELL

You'll bounce back. You've got spunk.

 

MANDY

[quickly takes off her shoe] I could kill you with my shoe!

 

RUSSELL

Mandy! Mandy! Mandy! It wasn't gonna happen.

 

MANDY

You know what the worst part about this is?

 

RUSSELL

[looks at the car] Well, I think you dinged up your suspension pretty good.

 

MANDY

No, Lloyd. It's the party they're having right now in the West Wing at my

expense.

 

RUSSELL

They're not having a party in the West Wing.

 

MANDY

I worked with these people for two and a half years. They like to win and

then

they like to gloat.

 

RUSSELL

I'm sure you're wrong.

 

MANDY

I'm sure I'm not.

 

RUSSELL

There are very serious men and women in the White House. A blow was struck

for

party unity this morning. There's no cause to gloat.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY

 

JOSH

[comes out of his office] Victory is mine! Victory is mine! Great day in the

morning people. Victory is mine!

 

DONNA

Good morning, Josh.

 

JOSH

I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels

in

all the land.

 

DONNA

It's gonna be an unbearable day.

 

Donna hangs her jacket. Josh throws up his arms in victory in front of the

other

staffers, who are clapping for him.

 

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.

 

END TEASER

* * *

 

ACT ONE

 

FADE IN: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - DAY

Toby comes out of his office and heads out. C.J. follows.

 

TOBY

I don't understand.

 

C.J.

They refused.

 

TOBY

How did they refuse?

 

C.J.

They turned down. They declined the invitation.

 

TOBY

How does someone decline an invitation for a photo-op with the President?

 

C.J.

I'm saying this is the kind of luck we're having.

 

TOBY

Because of the joke?

 

C.J.

Because of the joke.

 

STAFFER

[passes by] Good morning.

 

TOBY

Good morning.

 

C.J.

Who's that?

 

TOBY

Who cares? We need somebody.

 

C.J.

You try getting his attention on this.

 

OUTER OVAL OFFICE. Mrs. Landingham is behind her desk. Toby approaches.

 

TOBY

Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the

residence

eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you?

 

TOBY

Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

What age would that be, Toby?

 

TOBY

Late twenties?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Atta boy.

 

TOBY

[opens the cookie jar] Can I have a cookie?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

No.

 

SAM

[walks in] Toby, they turned down our request?

 

TOBY

C.J.'s on it.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Good morning, Sam.

 

SAM

Good morning.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Have a cookie, Sam.

 

SAM

Thank you. [takes a cookie]

 

Toby, still holding the cookie jar lid, looks at Mrs. Landingham. She looks

back.

 

C.J.

They're issuing a press release. We're gonna be playing defense all day.

 

SAM

[mouthful] Is this really because of the joke?

 

C.J.

It's because of the joke.

 

Josh steps in. Donna stays at the door.

 

JOSH

Someone give me a river to forge, a serpent to slay.

 

C.J.

[to Donna] What's his problem?

 

DONNA

He's been drinking from the keg of glory. We're to bring him all the muffins

and bagels in the land.

 

TOBY

We heard.

 

SAM

Good job.

 

JOSH

Thank you very much. C.J., they turned down the invitation?

 

C.J.

They declined.

 

The staff walks into THE OVAL OFFICE.

 

JOSH

What does that mean?

 

C.J.

It means they turned down the invitation.

 

JOSH

Because of the joke?

 

C.J.

Of course, because of the joke. Why does everyone keep asking? As if it could

be something...

 

Josh and C.J. pass through as Bartlet and Leo come in from the portico.

 

LEO

...32 billion against the trade surplus.

 

BARTLET

That's no good. Jaworski knows that's no good.

 

LEO

Mostly, he's gonna say that the Japanese need to buy more American cars.

 

BARTLET

Americans need to buy more American cars.

 

LEO

Which is what I told Jaworski.

 

BARTLET

Good morning everyone.

 

ALL

Good morning.

 

BARTLET

What do you got?

 

JOSH

443's gonna stay in committee.

 

BARTLET

I heard.

 

LEO

What else?

 

C.J.

The Ryder Cup team is declining our invitation to come to the White House.

 

LEO

You're kidding.

 

C.J.

Because of the joke.

 

BARTLET

You're kidding.

 

C.J.

I'm not.

 

Mrs. Landingham comes in and gives Bartlet his schedule.

 

BARTLET

The Ryder Cup team?

 

C.J.

It's a group of the best golfers in the country...

 

BARTLET

I know what the Ryder Cup team is. Thanks Mrs. Landingham.

 

C.J.

Sir, this may be a good time to talk about your sense of humor.

 

BARTLET

[looks at his schedule] I've got an intelligence briefing, a security

briefing,

and a 90-minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. You

sure

this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor?

 

C.J.

No.

 

BARTLET

Me neither.

 

LEO

What else?

 

C.J.

It's just that it's not the first time it's happened.

 

BARTLET

I know.

 

TOBY

She's talking about Texas, sir.

 

BARTLET

I know.

 

C.J.

U.S.A. Today asks you why you don't spend more time campaigning in Texas and

you say it's 'cause you don't look good in funny hats.

 

SAM

It was 'big hats.'

 

C.J.

What difference does it make?

 

BARTLET

It makes a difference.

 

C.J.

The point is we got whomped in Texas.

 

JOSH

We got whomped in Texas twice.

 

C.J.

We got whomped in the primary, and we got whomped in November.

 

BARTLET

I think I was there.

 

C.J.

And it was avoidable, sir.

 

BARTLET

C.J., on your tombstone, it's gonna read, 'Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.'

 

C.J.

Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.

 

BARTLET

Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know 'post hoc, ergo propter hoc?'

Josh?

 

JOSH

Uh, uh, post, after, after hoc, ergo, therefore, after hoc, therefore,

something else hoc.

 

BARTLET

Thank you. Next?

 

JOSH

Uh, if I'd gotten more credit on the 443...

 

BARTLET

Leo?

 

LEO

After it, therefore because of it. [Josh, a little weirded out, looks]

 

BARTLET

After it, therefore because of it. It means one thing follows the other,

therefore it was caused by the other, but it's not always true. In fact, it's

hardly ever true. We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know

when we lost Texas?

 

C.J.

When you learned to speak Latin?

 

BARTLET

Go figure.

 

LEO

What else?

 

CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - DAY

CAPTAIN MORRIS TOLLIVER, the President's physician, comes in. NANCY greets

him.

 

NANCY

Captain Tolliver, can I get you a cup of coffee?

 

MORRIS

No, I'm fine, Nancy. Thank you.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Good morning, Morris. It's good to see you.

 

MORRIS

Good morning, Mrs. Landingham.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

He's a little backed up this morning.

 

MORRIS

I can see that.

 

The door to the Oval Office opens. Leo, Sam, Josh, and other staffers come

out.

 

LEO

Sam, when are you writing the Hilton Head draft?

 

SAM

I'm closing my door from noon to three.

 

JOSH

Let me see it at three.

 

SAM

Yeah.

 

LEO

Morris.

 

MORRIS

Good morning.

 

LEO

Stan, I'll be just a second. [to Morris] Take a walk with me, will you?

 

MORRIS

Sure. [They walk.]

 

LEO

You look well.

 

MORRIS

Well, I'm feeling pretty good.

 

LEO

How's the baby?

 

MORRIS

Ten days old today.

 

LEO

You got a picture?

 

MORRIS

Well, I don't know... Let me see... Well, what do you know? [fishes out a

picture]

 

LEO

Oh, she's a knockout.

 

MORRIS

Both of them.

 

LEO

I'm sorry. I've forgotten your wife's name.

 

MORRIS

Angela.

 

LEO

And the girl?

 

MORRIS

Corey.

 

Margaret comes from behind as they enter the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE. Leo and

Morris stop walking.

 

MARGARET

Leo, did you tell the council's office that they would be in on the ten

o'clock?

 

LEO

I may have.

 

MARGARET

That's really something that you want to tell me.

 

LEO

[hands her the picture] Here. It's a baby and a new mother. Look at that

for a

minute.

 

MARGARET

Oh!

 

Leo and Morris walk again. Margaret follows while looking at the picture.

 

LEO

Listen, quickly. I know you were just supposed to be filling in till Terry

Wyatt came back, but the President likes you, and he'd like to keep you on if

you don't have any objections.

 

MORRIS

I don't have any objections.

 

LEO

Good.

 

MORRIS

But I don't have to be covered next week. I'm leaving the country in a few

hours.

 

LEO

Where are you going?

 

MORRIS

Jordan.

 

LEO

For how long?

 

MORRIS

For just a week.

 

LEO

Then you'll start the week after.

 

MORRIS

Leo?

 

LEO

Yeah?

 

MORRIS

I'm comparatively low-ranked.

 

LEO

He likes you, Morris. He feels better after he's talked to you. I think there

have been days when you've lightened the load a little.

 

MORRIS

It's not the big load, I'm just...

 

LEO

He likes you, Morris. I got to get back in the Oval. [to Margaret] Give him

his

picture.

 

Leo walks off. Margaret gives Morris back his picture and follows Leo.

 

CUT TO: EXT. MANDY'S CONDOMINIUM - DAY

Mandy's convertible is being towed outside. Inside, Mandy walks in. She finds

her assistant, DAISY, inside.

 

DAISY

Hey.

 

MANDY

Hey.

 

DAISY

88-B's straightened out, and Chris Matthews wants to know what we know.

 

MANDY

Well, I have some news.

 

DAISY

Good news?

 

MANDY

Well, there's a way to see it as bad news, but I think it's good news.

 

DAISY

What is it?

 

MANDY

Lloyd Russell is no longer our client.

 

DAISY

Really?

 

MANDY

Yes.

 

DAISY

Lloyd Russell is our only client.

 

MANDY

Was.

 

DAISY

What happened? This is a total disaster!

 

MANDY

Look, if that's the spin you're gonna put on it...

 

DAISY

Mandy...

 

MANDY

He wants to work with the President on 443.

 

DAISY

He's not gonna run?

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

You lost our only client?

 

MANDY

I'd like to think of us as a team, Daisy.

 

DAISY

I quit my job!

 

MANDY

So did I.

 

DAISY

After putting about a half a million dollars in the bank.

 

MANDY

I saved wisely.

 

DAISY

How are you gonna pay me?

 

MANDY

Can I just say that it so typically you to leap that question at a time like

this?

 

DAISY

It's not typically me, Mandy. It's typically my landlord. It's typically

college loans. It's typically the guy who's gonna sell me a carton of milk

next week.

 

MANDY

You're not the only one with expenses, Daisy. I've got credit cards, and I've

got condo payments, plus I think I may have dinged up the suspension on my

BMW.

 

DAISY

What are we gonna do?

 

MANDY

I'm formulating a plan.

 

Mandy walks inside a bathroom and closes the door.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE WEST WING - HALLWAY - DAY

Donna finds Josh. They walk.

 

DONNA

Josh.

 

JOSH

What do you need?

 

DONNA

You owe me a hundred dollars.

 

JOSH

For what?

 

DONNA

I entered you in a college football pool.

 

JOSH

Without telling me?

 

DONNA

Well, it's kind of a surprise.

 

JOSH

How did I do?

 

DONNA

You lost a hundred dollars.

 

JOSH

On who?

 

DONNA

On Central Indiana State.

 

JOSH

What was the line?

 

DONNA

It wasn't really that kind of a pool.

 

JOSH

What kind of a pool was it?

 

DONNA

You just pick the winner.

 

JOSH

You picked Central Indiana State?

 

DONNA

The Fighting Okies.

 

JOSH

Who are they playing?

 

DONNA

Notre Dame.

 

JOSH

You picked Central Indiana State against Notre Dame?

 

DONNA

Well, technically, you did.

 

Toby passes them. Josh calls him as Donna walks off. We follow Toby and Josh.

 

JOSH

Toby!

 

TOBY

Yes.

 

JOSH

We need to do something.

 

TOBY

Ryder Cup team.

 

JOSH

The Ryder Cup is just the latest in a string.

 

TOBY

Yes.

 

JOSH

The banking committee...

 

TOBY

New Jersey, G-8.

 

JOSH

Bicycle under the tree?

 

TOBY

Yes, though I'm not sure what our new media director would have done about

that.

 

JOSH

Me neither, but we need a new media director. I'd been on talent shows with

more polish than some of the events around here.

 

TOBY

On talent shows?

 

JOSH

As a kid. Listen...

 

TOBY

On what if?

 

JOSH

We need to double-team him.

 

TOBY

If we bring Sam and C.J. too.

 

JOSH

We need to gang up on.

 

TOBY

Yes.

 

JOSH

We do it as a gang.

 

TOBY

See you later.

 

Josh stops walking as Toby continues down the hall.

 

JOSH

Listen, it's not gonna be Mandy, right?

 

TOBY

Nope.

 

JOSH

Anyone but Mandy.

 

Toby had walked near C.J.'s Office. He sees C.J. as they head off.

 

C.J.

'Post hoc ergo propter hoc'? I'll bet that used to have them rolling in the

aisles at the Whiffinpoof Dinners.

 

TOBY

Fly in the teeth with it.

 

C.J.

You think?

 

TOBY

Be funny. You're at your best with a pie in the face.

 

C.J.

I've been told that.

 

TOBY

In fact, I'd hold back. Keep it in your back pocket.

 

C.J.

Janet?

 

TOBY

If you don't like the rhythm of the 'Q' and 'A,' use the Ryder Cup. Just

fly in

the teeth with it.

 

C.J.

Yeah.

 

C.J. and Toby walk off. The staffer JANET speaks into the P.A.

 

JANET

[into P.A.] Please take your seats. Please take your seats, folks. We're

gonna

start the briefing.

 

PRESS BRIEFING ROOM. C.J. and Toby walk in. We continue to hear Janet from

the

P.A. while C.J. walks toward the podium as the reporters take their seats.

 

JANET [P.A.]

Please take your seats. Please take your seats, folks.

 

C.J.

Good morning. We got a birthday today, right? Suzanne?

 

SUZANNE

Bobbi.

 

C.J.

It's Bobbi's birthday!

 

BOBBI

Yes, it is.

 

MIKE

C.J.? Uh, a short while ago the Vice President commented on the White House's

position on the A3-C3 saying, and I'm quoting from notes, 'This is the time

when the President needs our support.' Can you clarify the language?

 

C.J.

No. I can't, Mike. I haven't spoken with the Vice President today.

 

MIKE

The language seemed strained, doesn't it?

 

C.J.

[glances at Toby, then back at Mike] Strange?

 

MIKE

Strained. 'This is the time when the President needs our support.'

 

C.J.

It sounds pretty straightforward. I'll tell you what though, if you consult

the

morning releases, you'll see that in the world of sports, the White House

just

got dissed by 12 guys named Flippy.

 

Laughter. C.J. looks at Toby, who is smiling at her response. We zoom out of

the PRESS ROOM.

 

C.J.

Who's got questions?

 

REPORTER

C.J., does this have anything to do with the joke, and is the President

planning on making an apology?

 

FADE OUT.

 

END ACT ONE

***

 

ACT TWO

 

FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY

Josh is watching C.J.'s briefing from a nearby television. Sam comes up.

 

C.J.

[on T.V.] I have to say that it came as a bit of a surprise to discover that

professional golfers don't have a sense of humor, especially after seeing

them

in some of the outfits.

 

SAM

Hey.

 

JOSH

Hey.

 

SAM

What's up?

 

C.J.

[on T.V.] Thank you...

 

JOSH

[starts walking with Sam] C.J. just discovered that Hoynes, when responding

to

a question on A3, said 'this is the time when the President needs our

support.'

Third one in five weeks.

 

SAM

So she moved on to the Ryder Cup?

 

JOSH

Wouldn't you?

 

SAM

Yeah. [beat] Listen, make sure C.J. keeps this off Leo's desk.

 

JOSH

I think it goes right on Leo's desk.

 

SAM

A vague quote from Hoynes will disappear by the end of the next news cycle.

A fistfight between Leo and the Vice President's got juice.

 

JOSH

Fair point.

 

SAM

Talk to C.J.

 

JOSH

Yeah. I will.

 

One he gets his coffee, Josh walks away. After a while he notices that Sam is

following him.

 

JOSH

Did you need me?

 

SAM

I'm sorry?

 

JOSH

Didn't you come to see me?

 

SAM

I was just stretching my legs.

 

JOSH

Oh.

 

They walk into JOSH'S OFFICE.

 

SAM

I'm supposed to be working on the Hilton Head draft right now, and I am, but

I'm just stretching my legs.

 

JOSH

Okay.

 

SAM

Last week, I was out for a late drink, and I met this woman named Laurie, and

Laurie and I hit it off, and we spent the evening together back at her place,

and the next day I discovered she was a call girl.

 

Josh has been drinking his coffee. He's having a hard time swallowing.

 

JOSH

Sam?

 

SAM

Yeah?

 

JOSH

Do you want to maybe close the door?

 

SAM

Yeah. [he does]

 

JOSH

You slept with a call girl?

 

SAM

Well no, I... well, yes. Yes I did.

 

JOSH

Did she know who you are?

 

SAM

No, I didn't reveal my secret identity, Josh.

 

JOSH

I'm asking some questions here.

 

SAM

Yes. She knows I work for the President.

 

JOSH

You don't think that she...

 

SAM

No.

 

JOSH

Let me finish...

 

SAM

No, I'm saying no, she wouldn't say anything.

 

JOSH

How do you know?

 

SAM

I know.

 

JOSH

How do you know?

 

SAM

I know.

 

JOSH

You want to call her again, don't you?

 

SAM

Look, I really like her, and she's not what you think.

 

JOSH

The only thing I know about her is she's a call girl. Is she a call girl?

 

SAM

Yes.

 

JOSH

Then so far she's exactly what I think.

 

SAM

I just think I left abruptly. I think it was rude.

 

JOSH

Oh, you're gonna try and reform her, aren't you?

 

SAM

No.

 

JOSH

You are.

 

SAM

I just didn't say a proper goodbye that, you know, shows a little respect.

 

JOSH

Sam...

 

SAM

You know what, you'd like her if you met her, Josh.

 

JOSH

You got to promise me this is never gonna happen, Sam.

 

Donna knocks and pokes her head in.

 

JOSH

Yes?

 

DONNA

You're with the Energy Secretary in five minutes.

 

JOSH

Thanks.

 

DONNA

What's going on?

 

JOSH

Nothing.

 

DONNA

Really?

 

JOSH

Yes.

 

DONNA

You're lying?

 

JOSH

Yes.

 

DONNA

So I should get out?

 

JOSH

Yes. [Donna leaves] Look, whatever quest...

 

SAM

It's not a quest.

 

JOSH

Whatever. You're playing with fire here. Just talk to Toby before you do

anything.

 

SAM

Toby?

 

JOSH

Yes.

 

SAM

There's no way that I can do this without talking to Toby?

 

JOSH

No. [opens the door and sees C.J. walking by] Ooh! Ooh! Hang on there. C.J.!

[to Sam] Just talk to Toby. Just Toby.

 

SAM

All right.

 

Josh walks out. Donna gives him a file. He catches up with C.J.

 

DONNA

You're late.

 

JOSH

Thank you. C.J....

 

C.J.

I'm gonna kill him, Josh.

 

JOSH

I would definitely talk to him.

 

C.J.

Oh, I'm gonna talk to him, all right.

 

JOSH

I want you to stay on the perimeter.

 

C.J.

I've been staying on the perimeter.

 

JOSH

I don't want it on Leo's desk. Thank you

 

Josh stops as C.J. continues to walk a little faster. C.J. lets out a loud,

angry scream. Some staffers look at her strangely as she walks down the hall.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - DAY

VICE PRESIDENT JOHN HOYNES is inside talking to a Frenchman. Several

reporters

surround the room as their cameras flash everywhere.

 

HOYNES

C'est un vrai plasir et un honneur. D'etre votre hote aujurd'hui que vous

surviviez cette challeure du fin de septembre. Et que ce jour soit le jour ou

on construit pour le future.

 

FRENCHMAN

Absolument. Tres bien dis.

 

HOYNES

Excellent.

 

C.J. comes in the room and stands next to STEVIE one of the Vice President's

staffers.

 

C.J.

Hey Stevie.

 

STEVIE

Hey C.J.

 

C.J.

Does he have a minute?

 

STEVIE

We're leaving for New York.

 

C.J.

It'll just be a minute.

 

STEVIE

I'm looking at my watch.

 

HOYNES

[to Frenchman] Good luck. [to everyone in general] Thank you. Good luck

everyone.

 

Hoynes heads for the door as C.J. approaches him. His staff follows behind as

they walk hurriedly down the hall.

 

C.J.

Excuse me, Mr. Vice President?

 

HOYNES

C.J.

 

C.J.

Sir, I-I wanted to talk to you for a moment about A3-C3.

 

HOYNES

Yes.

 

C.J.

I wanted to apologize since I've been quickly here and in getting everyone on

the same page, sometimes people get left behind for a day or two...

 

HOYNES

[to a staffer behind him] Candy, the most he was talking about in terms of

the

subsidy was six dollars an acre.

 

CANDY

We're fixing it.

 

STEVIE

Sir?

 

C.J.

I was saying that had we properly briefed your office...

 

HOYNES

[to another staffer] Bill, it was six dollars an acre, Candy said.

 

BILL

Got it.

 

HOYNES

Thanks.

 

C.J.

Sir?

 

HOYNES

C.J., it was nice of you to come find me, but I've been kept in the loop on

AC cubed.

 

C.J.

The quote the room is running with is, 'This is the time when the President

needs our support.'

 

HOYNES

Yes.

 

C.J.

Well, you can see how that might be interpreted...?

 

HOYNES

[suddenly stops walking and everyone with him]  C.J.?

 

C.J.

Yes, sir?

 

HOYNES

I've got my own press secretary.

 

C.J.

Yes, sir.

 

STEVIE

Sir?

 

HOYNES

I got to run.

 

C.J.

Yes, sir.

 

C.J. falls silent. She stares at Hoynes as he and his staff walk away.

 

CUT TO: THE OVAL OFFICE - DAY

Bartlet is having his physical check-up. Morris has just finished taking his

blood pressure.

 

BARTLET

What's in Jordan?

 

MORRIS

Amman.

 

BARTLET

You should stay here. We got Amman, a woman, little kids, the works.

 

MORRIS

131 over 84.

 

BARTLET

See, that was a joke.

 

MORRIS

Good one.

 

BARTLET

Everybody's a critic today.

 

MORRIS

Hold still.

 

BARTLET

So what's in Amman?

 

MORRIS

A teaching hospital.

 

BARTLET

Good for you. How long are you gonna stay?

 

MORRIS

A week.

 

BARTLET

When do you leave?

 

MORRIS

Two hours.

 

BARTLET

What's my temperature?

 

MORRIS

56 degrees.

 

BARTLET

Fahrenheit?

 

MORRIS

Yeah. Is that not normal?

 

BARTLET

[chuckles] So how's the kid?

 

MORRIS

Ten days old today.

 

BARTLET

Can she spell anything yet?

 

MORRIS

No, sir.

 

BARTLET

Got any pictures?

 

MORRIS

Thought you'd never ask. [gives him one]

 

NANCY

[comes in] Sir, they just touched down at Andrews.

 

BARTLET

Thank you, Nancy.

 

Nancy leaves. Bartlet looks at the picture.

 

BARTLET

Oh, she's beautiful. What's her name?

 

MORRIS

Angela's my wife. Corey's our daughter. It's my grandmother's name. She got

it

from her great aunt, who got it from the first free woman she ever met.

 

BARTLET

That name's got a hell of a past.

 

MORRIS

My family's very proud of its past as you can tell.

 

BARTLET

Your wife's beautiful too. How'd you get her to marry you? Did you trick her

or something?

 

MORRIS

Hypnosis.

 

BARTLET

Yeah, I figured. [beat] Morris, I made a joke about golfers yesterday,

and now

it consumes the whole damn building.

 

MORRIS

Open your mouth, sir.

 

BARTLET

Jokes like that are part of my folksy charm, Morris. It's the very heart of

my

popularity.

 

MORRIS

Don't you have a job approval rating of like three percent or something?

 

BARTLET

Oh, we're having some difficulty getting the word out.

 

Carol comes in and gives Bartlet a file.

 

BARTLET

Oh, thank you. Is this from this morning, Carol?

 

CAROL

Yes, sir. [leaves]

 

BARTLET

[sighs] So how's my pulse?

 

MORRIS

Have you been running up and down the stairs at the Rose Bowl in the past few

minutes?

 

BARTLET

No.

 

MORRIS

Then it's not that good. Cut back on red meat?

 

BARTLET

Yeah.

 

MORRIS

Dairy?

 

BARTLET

Yeah.

 

MORRIS

How about booze?

 

BARTLET

[jokingly] Yeah, why not? Two Dewars on the rocks, Mrs. Landingham.

 

MORRIS

[smiles] Mr. President...

 

BARTLET

I had a meeting this morning with the Joint Chiefs. [beat] I'm an

accomplished

man, Morris. I can sit comfortably with prime ministers and Presidents, even

the pope. Why is it every time I sit with the Joint Chiefs, I feel like I'm

back at my father's dinner table.

 

MORRIS

I'm a naval officer, sir...

 

BARTLET

You're a naval officer. You're a doctor in a uniform. [beat] It's not like

I'm

totally without experience, you know.

 

MORRIS

Yes, sir.

 

BARTLET

You're talking to a former governor. I was commander-in-chief of the New

Hampshire National Guard.

 

MORRIS

You guys got into a lot of tough scrapes, did you?

 

BARTLET

Didn't have to. We'd just stand on the border and stare you down. Then we'd

all

go for pancakes. Like you had a lot of closed infantry combat training in

premed, huh?

 

MORRIS

Hold still just a second.

 

BARTLET

What is that?

 

MORRIS

It's a flu shot.

 

BARTLET

I don't need a flu shot.

 

MORRIS

You do need a flu shot.

 

BARTLET

How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup?

 

MORRIS

Sir?

 

BARTLET

I want the Secret Service in here right away.

 

MORRIS

In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service

is gonna be on your side?

 

BARTLET

Now that's a thought that's gonna fester.

 

MORRIS

Hold still.

 

Morris gives him the flu shot. Bartlet groans a little, and then holds his

arm

after the shot.

 

BARTLET

Thank you. I'm not comfortable with violence. [beat] I know this country has

enemies, but I don't feel violent toward any of them. I don't know whether

that's a weakness or not, but I think I know how the Joint Chiefs would

answer

that question.

 

MORRIS

Let the chiefs get to know you, Mr. President. They're serious men, naturally

suspicious of your leadership. That's what comes from spending a lifetime

caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. They're men of character. They

 

may not like your rEsumE, but they'll like you personally if you give it

time.

[beat] You have a once in a generation mind, sir. Ultimately, they'll respect

that. They'll advise you well and go where you point. Let the chiefs get to

know you, sir. In the meantime, you outrank them. So don't worry about it so

much, and cut back on the dairy.

 

BARTLET

And the red meat.

 

MORRIS

And the scotch.

 

BARTLET

Don't forget your picture. Corey's a beautiful child.

 

MORRIS

[looks at picture,] Yeah, I know. Look what I'd done.

 

BARTLET

You didn't do nothing, mister. You were a passenger on this one. Your job

is to

pay the bills, and do what these ladies tell you to do.

 

MORRIS

Yes, sir.

 

BARTLET

Also, you got to teach her how to whistle. Her mother won't do that.

 

MORRIS

Right.

 

BARTLET

I'll see you next week, Morris.

 

MORRIS

In two weeks.

 

BARTLET

Right. [Morris heads for the door.] Morris?

 

MORRIS

Yes, sir.

 

BARTLET

Look at that picture again. See? The past isn't the only thing your family

can

be proud of.

 

MORRIS

[beat] Yes, sir.

 

BARTLET

Go away.

 

Morris leaves. He passes Leo walking inside with two distinguished men.

 

LEO

Mr. President, you remember Stuart White and Ray Finley?

 

BARTLET

I do, indeed. Mr. White, good to see you. Mr. Finley...

 

WHITE and FINLEY shake hands with the President.

 

FADE OUT.

 

END ACT TWO

* * *

 

ACT THREE

 

FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY

Donna and Josh are walking through the bullpen.

 

DONNA

Josh?

 

JOSH

Yeah.

 

DONNA

What do you want for the pool this Saturday?

 

JOSH

Another hundred bucks?

 

DONNA

You can't win if you don't play.

 

JOSH

I see it different.

 

DONNA

Who do you like? Rocky Mountain College or Purdue?

 

JOSH

Tell you what, can you give me Yeshiva University over the Dallas Cowboys?

 

DONNA

If you're not going to take this seriously...

 

C.J.

[walks up] Excuse me. Leo will be ready for us in about a half hour.

 

JOSH

Thanks. Ah, C.J.?

 

C.J.

Yes?

 

JOSH

Did you talk to Hoynes?

 

C.J.

Yeah.

 

JOSH

And?

 

C.J.

We're fine.

 

JOSH

You're sure?

 

C.J.

Yeah

 

JOSH

C.J.?

 

C.J.

We're fine.

 

JOSH

Okay.

 

C.J.

Leo will call when he's ready.

 

JOSH

Anyone but Mandy.

 

C.J.

Right. [walks off]

 

CUT TO: INT. MANDY'S CONDO - DAY

Mandy is sitting in the stairs. Daisy picks up a wine bottle and joins Mandy

in

the stairs.

 

MANDY

I have a Ph.D. Did you know that?

 

DAISY

Yes.

 

MANDY

Some people don't know that.

 

DAISY

I do.

 

MANDY

I've got a bachelor's degree in art history, and a master's degree in

communications and a Ph.D. in political science.

 

DAISY

Yes.

 

MANDY

I'm accomplished and brilliant. And yet, look how young and cute I am.

 

DAISY

What about Gil McGregor?

 

MANDY

And who would think that someone who'd accomplished as much as I have,

would be

this young or this cute?

 

DAISY

Gil McGregor?

 

MANDY

And here I am.

 

DAISY

Mandy.

 

MANDY

I am not calling Gil Mcgregor!

 

DAISY

Why not?

 

MANDY

I'm not cold-calling businesses like an encyclopedia salesman.

 

DAISY

Fine.

 

MANDY

You do it. [Daisy gives her a knowing look] No. Neither of us has to do it.

Things haven't gotten that bad.

 

DAISY

Miss Hampton, we are sitting on the stairs, drinking wine out of paper cups.

 

MANDY

I'd like it if you called me Dr. Hampton.

 

DAISY

Give me the bottle. [Mandy does.]

 

CUT TO: INT. COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - DAY

Outside Sam's office, a phone rings. Cathy answers it.

 

CATHY

Sam Seaborn's office.

 

MAN [on phone]

Hi, it's Danny for Sam.

 

CATHY

He's writing now, Danny. He asked me to hold his calls.

 

SAM

[walks out of his office] Okay.

 

CATHY

He just came out. I'll have him call you back.

 

SAM

I'm done.

 

CATHY

You're sure?

 

SAM

Yep.

 

CATHY

You're done polishing?

 

SAM

Yes.

 

CATHY

You're done tweaking?

 

SAM

I'm done tweaking, I'm done polishing. Done. Take it to C.J. [Cathy starts to

walk.] Wait. [looks at the speech one final time, to double check] Yes, I'm

done, really.

 

Cathy walks towards C.J.'s Office with papers from Sam. Behind him, TOBY'S

OFFICE opens. Sam walks towards it where a meeting is breaking up. Toby is

speaking to communications staffers Ed and Larry leaving his office.

 

TOBY

Wait and hope that the statement comes out of the U.N. by the end of the week.

 

ED

It's the least we can do.

 

TOBY

No, actually the U.N. is already doing the least they can do.

 

ED

Right. [exits] Hey Sam, what's up?

 

SAM

Just stretching my legs.

 

TOBY

[to Sam] Hey.

 

SAM

Hey.

 

TOBY

How's it going?

 

SAM

I'm finished.

 

TOBY

You're talking about the Hilton head draft?

 

SAM

I used pretty tough language... 'political cover,' 'counterproductive.'

 

TOBY

Good.

 

SAM

Now, I'm just stretching my legs.

 

TOBY

Good.

 

SAM

Can I talk to you a second?

 

TOBY

Yeah.

 

SAM

I'll shut the door.

 

TOBY

Okay.

 

SAM

[closes the door and sits] About a week ago, I accidentally slept with a

prostitute.

 

Toby slowly looks up from his desk to Sam.

 

TOBY

Really?

 

SAM

Yes.

 

TOBY

You accidentally slept with a prostitute?

 

SAM

Call girl.

 

TOBY

Accidentally?

 

SAM

Yes.

 

TOBY

I don't understand. Did you trip over something?

 

SAM

I did not know she was a call girl.

 

TOBY

There wasn't a red flag when she charged you money in exchange for sex?

 

SAM

She didn't charge me, Toby, come on... I didn't find out about it, till the

next day.

 

TOBY

Where did you meet her?

 

SAM

The Four Seasons.

 

TOBY

Did anyone see you?

 

SAM

No.

 

TOBY

You're sure?

 

SAM

Yes, although I was with Billy for a time.

 

TOBY

Billy who?

 

SAM

Kenworthy.

 

TOBY

Bill Kenworthy...

 

SAM

Yes.

 

TOBY

...of The Wall Street Journal!

 

SAM

He sat, to talk to me about Josh. It was during the whole Mary Marsh thing,

but

he got up and left well before...

 

TOBY

Before you picked up a hooker.

 

SAM

Call girl.

 

TOBY

Well, that's a distinction that's gonna be very important to the Grand Jury.

 

SAM

I haven't broken any laws.

 

TOBY

Who else knows about this?

 

SAM

Josh.

 

TOBY

And who else?

 

SAM

That's it.

 

TOBY

So it's just me, you, the hooker, the President's deputy chief of staff, and

The Wall Street Journal!

 

SAM

You know what Toby? She's not a hooker.

 

TOBY

Hang on a second, Sam.

 

SAM

I'd like to call her, just to say we can be friends, I don't see the danger

in

that...

 

TOBY

[rubs his forehead] No, no, Sam, no. You're going to try and reform her?

 

SAM

No.

 

TOBY

I think you are.

 

SAM

I think she shouldn't have to feel like trash, because I have a job where

adults aren't given the benefit of the doubt.

 

JOSH

[walks in] Let's go.

 

SAM

He's free?

 

JOSH

Yeah.

 

Toby looks at Sam before leaving. They all walk.

 

TOBY

[to Josh]  Did you know about this?

 

JOSH

Know about what?

 

TOBY

[indicating Sam] With him.

 

JOSH

Yes.

 

TOBY

And you're not concerned?

 

JOSH

Who among us hasn't known forbidden love, Toby? Why spring break alone...

 

SAM

I was going to say...

 

TOBY

This administration doesn't even need an opposition party, do you know that,

we

do fine by ourselves.

 

JOSH

Sam, just don't do anything stupid okay?

 

SAM

Yeah.

 

JOSH

Nice job on the Hilton head draft.

 

The three enter LEO'S OFFICE. C.J. and Leo are already there.

 

LEO

You have three minutes, what do you want?

 

TOBY

A full time consultant.

 

LEO

The dollar is down 3 cents against the Yen; up 2 pennies against the

Euro. Know

what we need more than a media consultant?  An economic stimulus package that

doesn't look like it was put together at an Amway rally.

 

JOSH

Yes, but that's not the meeting we're having right now.

 

LEO

Fair point.

 

JOSH

The Ryder Cup shouldn't have even ended up on our radar screen.

 

LEO

That's right.

 

JOSH

So you'll let us hire a media consultant? You'll let the D.N.C. spend some

money?

 

LEO

Absolutely.

 

TOBY

Who do we get?

 

LEO

Mandy.

 

TOBY

Excellent choice.

 

JOSH

Yes... Wait, What?

 

SAM

Mandy.

 

C.J.

Who is recently unemployed, and by the way, I don't think Josh has gotten

enough credit for that. [She applauds. Sam joins in.]

 

LEO

We need her again, Josh.

 

JOSH

Mandy?

 

LEO

We need her.

 

JOSH

Wait a second. This is an ambush.

 

LEO

Can you think...?

 

JOSH

I'm getting mugged and you're the gang leader.

 

LEO

Can you think of a single reason not to use Mandy that isn't personal?

 

JOSH

Sure.

 

LEO

What?

 

JOSH

[beat] She used to be my girlfriend!

 

LEO

That's good enough for me. Let's do it.

 

TOBY

Excellent.

 

JOSH

Hang on.

 

SAM

This is going to be great.

 

JOSH

Wait, I-I have certain objections.

 

LEO

Like what?

 

JOSH

For one thing, the President would never go for this.

 

LEO

Sure he will.

 

JOSH

How do you know?

 

LEO and JOSH

I [You] already asked him.

 

JOSH

All right... listen... fine... I'm a team player. I think my record is pretty

clear on that.

 

LEO

Yes.

 

JOSH

As long as she understands that she answers to me and she answers to Toby. I

don't want to have to go 15 rounds with her in the Oval Office.

 

LEO

Toby, does that wrap it up?

 

TOBY

Yeah.

 

LEO

Thank you, everybody.

 

JOSH

I'm going to draw a chart for her with lines and arrows, clearly indicating

that she answers to me and she answers to Toby.

 

LEO

C.J., hang on a second.

 

Everyone leaves. C.J. stands just inside the door.

 

LEO

Did you talk to Hoynes today?

 

C.J.

Yeah, I talked to him for a minute this morning.

 

LEO

About A3-C3?

 

C.J.

Yep.

 

LEO

I mean about the quote.

 

C.J.

Yeah.

 

LEO

And?

 

C.J.

Miscommunication, he's on board.

 

LEO

Yeah?

 

C.J.

Yeah.

 

LEO

I don't understand, what kind of miscommunication?

 

C.J.

His statement got truncated, I'd leave it alone.

 

LEO

Okay.

 

C.J.

Anything else?

 

LEO

No.

 

C.J.

I'll be in my office.

 

C.J. leaves. Josh suddenly comes back in from the other door to make his

point.

 

JOSH

She answers to me and she answers to Toby.

 

Leo shakes his head as Josh leaves.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT

Bartlet is packing his briefcase. Mrs. Landingham is with him.

 

BARTLET

Mrs. Landingham?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Yes, sir?

 

BARTLET

I'm done, right?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

There are some calls, but you can make them from the residence. [gives him a

file and a red paper bag]

 

BARTLET

All righty. Thank you. What's in the bag?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Delegation from the University of Nebraska was sorry you couldn't see them

during their visit, and they left this for you with their compliments. [pulls

out a red shirt from the bag]

 

BARTLET

It's a shirt.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Yes, sir.

 

BARTLET

They left me a shirt?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Yes, sir.

 

BARTLET

I think they left me something else, Mrs. Landingham.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Now, Mr. President...

 

BARTLET

I think they left me 12 center-cut prime fillet Omaha Steaks, Mrs. Landingham.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Morris Tolliver said...

 

BARTLET

I was going to have Mario fix me one of those steaks tonight.

 

He walks out into the PORTICO. Mrs. Landingham follows.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Dr. Tolliver was very clear about...

 

BARTLET

You stole my steaks.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

I didn't steal them. I was simply following the direct orders of Captain

Morris

Tolliver, M.D. who would like to see your diet contain a little less...

 

BARTLET

You are a cattle rustler, Mrs. Landingham.

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

If you say so, Mr. President... And no scotch tonight, sir.

 

BARTLET

Between you and Dr. Tolliver, who needs a wife or a mother?

 

MRS. LANDINGHAM

Good night, Mr. President.

 

Bartlet walks toward the residence. Mrs. Landingham returns to the office.

 

CUT TO: INT. MANDY'S CONDO - NIGHT

Mandy sits on the stairs and Daisy sits on the floor. They're going over a

list.

 

DAISY

Christensen?

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

Stillwell?

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

Crouse?

 

MANDY

The one from Indiana?

 

DAISY

Alabama.

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

How about the one from Indiana?

 

MANDY

No.

 

The two don't notice Josh entering.

 

DAISY

Kittis?

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

Waveman?

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

Brock?

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

Uh, Silverman?

 

JOSH

Bartlet.

 

Mandy and Daisy swiftly look at him.

 

JOSH

What about Bartlet?

 

MANDY

What are you doing here?

 

JOSH

Jed Bartlet, Nobel Laureate in Economics, three-term congressman, two-term

Governor, You guys look like you could use a client. What do you say? You

want

to work for the leader of the free world?

 

MANDY

[approaches] Josh! Well it took you long enough. [hits Josh in the arm]

 

JOSH

Ow!

 

MANDY

You kept me out of the loop for a year. Sure, once the Ryder cup team...

 

JOSH

Okay...

 

MANDY

Which by the way...

 

JOSH

Okay, we have some rules.

 

MANDY

I don't want to hear your rules.

 

DAISY

What are the rules?

 

JOSH

Number one, she can't punch me. Number two, I prefer it if the two of you

didn't get drunk in the middle of the day.

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

Agreed.

 

MANDY

Fine.

 

DAISY

Oh, you don't know how much we appreciate this, Josh.

 

MANDY

It's not like he's doing us a favor.

 

DAISY

You are a good man, Josh!

 

JOSH

Yes, I really am quite something.

 

MANDY

I just want to die.

 

DAISY

We don't even know how to thank you.

 

JOSH

The look on Mandy's face is thanks enough. Get your coats. You hungry?

 

MANDY

No.

 

DAISY

Yes.

 

MANDY

Yes.

 

JOSH

Lets go. Rule number 3, and I really can't emphasize this enough, you answer

to

me and you answer to Toby. My office is drawing up some instructional charts

that pretty much outline the chain of command. For instance, you answer to me

and you answer to Toby.

 

MANDY

I understand.

 

JOSH

Do you?

 

MANDY

Yes.

 

JOSH

Good.

 

The three start to go out.

 

MANDY

In your dreams.

 

JOSH

Mandy!

 

MANDY

In your little dreams!

 

Daisy turns off the lights and closes the door.

 

CUT TO:INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Leo is reading. Margaret walks in.

 

MARGARET

Excuse me. The Vice President is here.

 

LEO

Thanks.

 

HOYNES

Hey, Leo.

 

LEO

Good evening Mr. Vice President.

 

LEO

Thanks, Margaret.

 

Margaret leaves the office. Leo and Hoynes sit in opposite ends.

 

LEO

How was New York?

 

HOYNES

Standard and Poor's going to raise the city's credit rating.

 

LEO

Good.

 

HOYNES

Nice of you to call me over. We don't see enough of each other.

 

LEO

No.

 

HOYNES

Margaret's looking good.

 

LEO

Did you blow off C.J. Cregg this morning?

 

HOYNES

Leo...

 

LEO

I'm asking...

 

HOYNES

Is that what this is about?

 

LEO

Did you?

 

HOYNES

You know what, C.J. doesn't need to come running to you every time she hits a

bump...

 

LEO

C.J. did not come running, John, she covered your ass, she's a good girl. And

when she tells you something, I want you to consider it a directive from this

office.

 

HOYNES

You want me to consider it a directive from this office?

 

LEO

Yes.

 

HOYNES

Well, let me consult Article Two of the Constitution, cause I'm not a hundred

percent sure where this office gets the authority to direct me to the men's

room!

 

LEO

You really want to do this now?

 

HOYNES

Leo, I have had it up to here, with you and your pal! I've been shoved into a

broom...

 

LEO

[gets riled] Excuse me! Me and my pal?

 

HOYNES

Yes.

 

LEO

You are referring to President Bartlet?

 

HOYNES

Yes.

 

LEO

Refer to him that way.

 

HOYNES

[gets up] Goodnight, Leo.

 

LEO

Don't do what you're doing, John.

 

HOYNES

You're a world class political operative, Leo. Why the hell shouldn't I keep

doing what I've been doing?

 

LEO

'Cause I'll win, and you'll end up playing celebrity golf for the rest of

your

life.

 

HOYNES

How long do you expect me to stick around here and be his whipping boy?

 

LEO

Give this President anything less than your full-throated support, and you're

going to find out exactly how long.

 

HOYNES

Goodnight, Leo.

 

LEO

Goodnight, John.

 

Hoynes leaves. Leo picks up the paperwork from the table and continues to

read.

FADE OUT.

END ACT THREE

* * *

 

ACT FOUR

 

FADE IN: INT. THE FOUR SEASONS - NIGHT

Sam comes in the restaurant. He looks around the place full of distinguished

people. He sees a familiar woman by the bar and approaches her.

 

SAM

Excuse me. Hi.

 

WOMAN

Hi.

 

SAM

I'm looking for Laurie.

 

WOMAN

I don't know anyone named Laurie.

 

SAM

Laurie's not her real name.

 

WOMAN

Laurie's not her real name?

 

SAM

Actually, Laurie is her real name. The name you know her by is not her real

name. I saw her with you the other night.

 

WOMAN

Oh, yeah. I remember you.

 

SAM

Ah. More good news for Toby.

 

WOMAN

What?

 

SAM

Nothing. Could you tell me where she is?

 

WOMAN

She's in the back.

 

SAM

Thank you. [heads towards the back]

 

WOMAN

She's busy.

 

SAM

Only take a sec!

 

IN THE BACK AREA. We see Laurie sitting with two older men and another woman

around a table.

 

MAN

Hongkong? That place has really gone downhill since they changed chefs.

 

Everyone in the table laughs. Sam just walks up.

 

SAM

Hi.

 

LAURIE

[out of her laugh] Hi!

 

SAM

Look at this. I come in for a drink, and here you are.

 

LAURIE

[now uncomfortable] How 'bout that?

 

SAM

How you doing?

 

MAN

Hi.

 

LAURIE

This is...

 

SAM

Sam Seaborn.

 

MAN

From the White House?

 

SAM

Yes, sir. [They shake hands.]

 

LAURIE

Sam.

 

SAM

I hope you don't mind my barging in like this. It's just that I've known this

girl my whole life.

 

WOMAN

How do you know Brittany?

 

SAM

Who's Brittany?

 

LAURIE

I am.

 

SAM

Okay.

 

LAURIE

Sam, we're in the middle of something here...

 

SAM

No problem. I don't mean to interrupt. I'll just go back to the bar and call

my friend, the Assistant U.S. Attorney General, and see if he wants to come

down and meet for a drink with me and that woman back there.

 

LAURIE

Excuse me. [leaves abruptly]

 

SAM

[to man] Good to meet you. [to the other man] Okay.

 

CUT TO:EXT. WASHINGTON D.C. STREET - NIGHT

Laurie comes out of the restaurant. Sam is walking behind her.

 

SAM

Laurie. I called you four times. You said you were gonna call me back.

 

LAURIE

Stay away from me.

 

SAM

Laurie?

 

LAURIE

I can't believe you just did that!

 

SAM

I came here in the spirit of...

 

LAURIE

I left my jacket at the table. I can't go back there.

 

SAM

If I cost you some money, I'll write you a check.

 

LAURIE

You go to hell for saying that.

 

SAM

I wasn't... [Laurie walks off ahead of Sam. He follows behind.] I'm sorry.

That was the wrong thing to say.

 

LAURIE

Yes.

 

SAM

You're gonna freeze out here.

 

LAURIE

I don't care.

 

SAM

Take my coat.

 

LAURIE

No.

 

SAM

Come on.

 

LAURIE

Give it to me. [She stops. Sam helps her put on the coat.] I can't believe

you

said that in there. I backed away from you so quietly, Sam. You know I did. I

never would have caused you any trouble. And then you come in and you

brandish

this... by the way, the Attorney General has no jurisdiction here. [walks

again]

 

SAM

Are you...?

 

LAURIE

I break the law in the district. I break the law in Maryland. And from time

to

time, I break the law in Pennsylvania. In my life, I have never committed a

federal crime, which is more than I can say for some people in your line of

work.

 

SAM

You're absolutely right about that.

 

LAURIE

I need a cab. [waves to a cab passing by but it didn't stop]

 

SAM

So I had a pretty good day.

 

LAURIE

Congratulations.

 

SAM

I feel like more and more I'm putting a role in policy discussions and then

today I...

 

LAURIE

Why did you come and find me tonight?

 

SAM

What?

 

LAURIE

Why did you call me four times, and then come and find me?

 

SAM

I just... to tell you that I had a pretty good day.

 

LAURIE

I don't need saving, Sam.

 

SAM

Yeah, you do.

 

LAURIE

Are you aware that I make more money than you do?

 

SAM

You and any kid with a decent paper route.

 

LAURIE

And you understand that I wasn't abused as a child, that I like what I do?

 

SAM

Really?

 

LAURIE

That it's putting me through law school?

 

SAM

I wouldn't knock yourself out in torts because there's no state law in this

country that's gonna admit you with a solicitation bust on your record.

 

LAURIE

I don't plan on getting busted.

 

SAM

As opposed to the other people that do?

 

LAURIE

Sam...

 

SAM

And I gotta tell you... [They stop walking.] I think you look terrific

tonight.

 

LAURIE

Thank you.

 

SAM

And I'm not just saying that because I want my coat back.

 

LAURIE

You're gonna try and change me, arguing, asserting a position every time I

turn

around...

 

SAM

I'm a lawyer and a speechwriter. I argue for a living, and I'm sought after

because I'm good at it.

 

LAURIE

You humiliated me back there. And you scared me. You understand that?

 

SAM

Yeah.

 

LAURIE

And?

 

SAM

I guess that's just the way it goes.

 

LAURIE

Well, that's not good enough.

 

SAM

It's gonna have to be.

 

LAURIE

Why?

 

SAM

'Cause I've decided to become a good friend of yours.

 

LAURIE

Oh, am I just supposed to strip down for you now?

 

SAM

No.

 

LAURIE

Really?

 

SAM

Really.

 

LAURIE

So what are we supposed to do?

 

SAM

I don't know, but whatever it is, can we do it indoors because I'm from

Southern California.

 

LAURIE

Yeah.

 

SAM

Good.

 

LAURIE

You want to buy me a drink?

 

SAM

I have to say, that sounded very professional to me.

 

LAURIE

Shut up.

 

SAM

Okay.

 

They start walking, but this time, we don't follow them.

 

LAURIE

So you're gonna reveal state secrets?

 

SAM

To be honest with you, I don't think I know any state secrets.

 

LAURIE

Now, he tells me.

 

SAM

I can recite the members of Congress in alphabetical order.

 

LAURIE

Ooh, geez, Sam. How do the girls stay on their feet with you?

 

SAM

And I got some patter with the capital gains tax, too.

 

Laurie laughs as they continue to walk away.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT

3:35 A.M.

There is an unusual crowding in the White House hallways at this time of

night.

There are numbers of staffers walking. Among them, we see Toby coming in the

Roosevelt Room.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE PORTICO - NIGHT

President Bartlet, wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, walks towards the Oval

Office. He passes by a Secret Service Agent, who whispers to the mike on his

wrist.

 

AGENT

Eagle's by.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - NIGHT

Leo and Josh are with several military officers.

 

JOSH

So they'll be in position in two hours?

 

OFFICER 1

And they'd be booked up by a second carrier group plus the F-14s off the

George

Washington and the Carlston.

 

LEO

How long before an estimated B.D.A.?

 

OFFICER 2

Ten minutes.

 

AGENT

[walks up from behind Leo] The President's waiting.

 

LEO

Excuse me, gentlemen. [heads for the door]

 

JOSH

Leo, do you need me?

 

LEO

No.

 

Leo leaves. We see Toby and Sam looking on in the other end of the room.

 

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT

The President is leaning on his desk. Leo comes in and walks slowly toward

him.

 

LEO

Mr. President, Morris Tolliver is dead.

 

The bad news hits the President hard.

 

LEO [cont.]

An airforce transport carrying Morris, 1200 other doctors, 42 support staff,

and a crew of five to a teaching hospital in Amman exploded in midair about

150 miles north of Tartus. What was first thought to be a mechanical failure

was then claimed by a fundamentalist group after a keyhole satellite sent

back

a record of a heat stream coming from what's called an F.I.M. 92, which is a

shoulder-mounted surface-to-air missile launcher. In the last 90 minutes or

so

that's been debunked as well. Hard intelligence is telling us the order came

from the Syrian defense ministry. Baker and Lennox are on their way from the

Pentagon, and Brodie's in the Situation Room preparing for your briefing.

 

Bartlet takes a moment before he speaks.

 

BARTLET

What time is it?

 

LEO

It's 10:38 in Damascus.

 

BARTLET

Where is the Syrian ambassador?

 

LEO

He's at his residence on a secure phone line.

 

BARTLET

Tel Aviv and London?

 

LEO

State's waiting for your word.

 

BARTLET

Alright, uh... [big sigh] I'm gonna call Morris' wife now. I'll meet you in

the

Situation Room.

 

LEO

Yes, sir. [heads for the door]

 

BARTLET

Leo?

 

Leo turns around.

 

BARTLET

I am not frightened. I'm gonna blow them off the face of the earth with the

fury of God's own thunder. [beat] Get the commanders.

 

A look of concern is on Leo's face. He slowly turns around, opens the door

and leaves. From the portico, we see Bartlet walking around behind his desk.

He sits on his chair and lets out a big sigh. He then picks up the phone and

makes the call.

 

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.

FADE TO BLACK.